The Reformer's Firebrand

*-{The New Canadian Colonist's Advocate }-* A commentary of fiery reformist sentiment from the spirit of it's 210 year old Canadian ghost publisher patron. This will be a home to the new wave of anti-partisan advocacy for defeating Canada's second "family compact" and reinstallation of responsible governance in this 21st century new Canadian democratic dominion.

Saturday, June 18, 2005

Moonbat Mockery is Good for the Nation's Heart and Soul

My friend Richard has started a Moonbat mocking initiative over at his blog and I thought it may be amuzing to take up where he left off. There is so much material to run with doing a stand up comedy act based in Moonbat foibles*. So here goes:

Q: Why did the moonbat cross the road?

A: to get to the ( fill in your favorite state subsidized entitilement here)

Q: What's the difference between a Moonbat and a trampoline?

A;You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

Q:How many Moonbats can you get into a 2 seat electric car?

A: 3 if they squeeze in really tight, 37 if you use a woodchipper.


You might be a Moonbat if:

-You think the rich can get richer off people who have no money.

-If you have ever used the phrase "protecting prisoner's rights".

-You've ever referred to the Military/Industrial Complex during a conversation.

-You've ever argued that "you can't legislate morality".

-Referred to the Founding Fathers as " aristocratic, chauvinistic, white, land stealing oppressors of indigenous personnel".

-You've ever said "But look at all the good Trudeau has done for this country!"

-You've ever stared at the "voice of fire" and said; " Dude,.. THAT says it all man.... well worth the 2 million to have this graphic account of man's inhumanity to man! Tax money well spent man!"

-You argue that the only flaw with Marxist theory is that Russia was an agrarian society.

-You've ever called anyone other than a nazi party member a Fascist.

-You argue that property rights are "priviledges".

-You view Michael Moore as a courageous documentary making hero with strong patriotic convictions.

-After looking at your pay stub you can still say "Canadians are undertaxed."

-You've ever said "We really should call the HRC about what was said here."

-You came of age in the '70s and don't remember but your coke burnt nose gives you a slight clue.

-You believe "Dan Rather wouldn't lie about something that important."

-You ever based an argument on the phrase, "But they can afford higher taxes because..."

-You ever told a child that Degrassi high's cancellation was " a victim of Draconian budget cuts in public broadcasting."

-You've ever argued that with just one more welfare program extention that street person will turn it around and get off drugs.

-You are outraged that Baseball Players make millions and the swamper at the welfare office only makes 28 bucks an hour doing such noble public work.

-You want government to find alternative energy sources but complain when you have to fill up the Volvo with the new carbon sin tax you lobbied for.

-You believe our government must do it because the Europe or Japan does.

-You think socialism will catch on once society has evolved by making non socialists move to the US.

-You've ever stated "How does what he does in his personal life have any bearing on doing his job?" when reponding to ample liberal scandals.

-You have ever blamed George Bush for anything that has not impacted you personally or is unlikely to impact you.

Got more? Put 'em in the comments or my e-mail, if I get enough I will make the Moonbat mocking day a quarterly event.



Blogger Richard said...

Laughing my tail off...

June 18, 2005 at 12:05 PM  
Blogger Shaken said...

You might be a moonbat if

- you think sending your money to China will reduce CO2 emissions (other than those caused by the ensuing recession).

- you think dandelions increase the value of a house

- the bums that hold doors open for you in Toronto's PATH system are providing a valuable service and therefore deserve money

- you've read anything written by a grant-funded writer that you thought was any good

- the war in Iraq made you so mad you had to go to Florida to relax

June 18, 2005 at 1:20 PM  
Blogger Debris Trail said...

- you think that Bush is Hitler.

- you prove your intellectual prowess by quoting Noam Chomsky

- you fear Americans more than single, young, middle eastern men who scream "allah akbar" moments before they explode.

- you wear Che Guevara t-shirts

- you think Stephen Harper is scary

June 18, 2005 at 1:44 PM  
Blogger W.L. Mackenzie Redux said...

- You support the further funding of the gun registry because it is "working".(10 extra Moonbat points that put you in the Moonbat elite)

June 18, 2005 at 4:14 PM  
Blogger Richard said...

- you like Paul Martin and think Jack Layton is genious...

June 19, 2005 at 10:00 PM  
Blogger Les Mackenzie said...

- You think debt relief for African countries will not result in better armed warlords.

- you make low expectation statements like "All Politicians are corrupt" and generally apologize for the lack of honest government by calling Conservatives scary.

- The Opposition leader needs a makeover (what the f@ck? Is this Oprah?).

- Drugs addicts are victims of society, prostitutes are "sex trade workers" and the CPC will sell Canada out to big business.

- Sure our governments corrupt but what about the social programs!

- Capital Punishment is bad but Partial Birth Abortion is A OK!

I'm sure I'm missing something, but that's all I could come up with at the moment.

June 20, 2005 at 12:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WOW that was great!!!!

June 24, 2005 at 4:30 PM  

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