The Reformer's Firebrand

*-{The New Canadian Colonist's Advocate }-* A commentary of fiery reformist sentiment from the spirit of it's 210 year old Canadian ghost publisher patron. This will be a home to the new wave of anti-partisan advocacy for defeating Canada's second "family compact" and reinstallation of responsible governance in this 21st century new Canadian democratic dominion.

Monday, June 27, 2005

Urban Eastern Public Schools should teach "Bear craft"


Greetings from the wilds of Banff AB. Aside from the natural beauty I've seen in traversing the back country of Canada's most beautiful National park, the town sites of Banff and Canmore offer many trendy amuzements for the tired traveler. This year it seems to be a pool the locals are keeping on which of the ample townsite bears will snack on the numerous urban warriors who have sought out the wilderness experience in the wild out back of the town site fringes.

What is it with Alberta's Grizzlie bears and their affinity for sleep walking Quebecois flesh. This summer's Park bear attacks have singled out townsite Quebecers who obviously have language/learning barriers. The first attack took place on a wildlife corridor that was supposed to be closed to public access clearly signed and cordoned off. The second attack ,that I winessed causing a flurry of frantic (pointless) public safety activites from Banff officialdom, was the result of some daft urban Quebeois ignoring the posted signs about area camping closuers due to an unpredictable bear frequenting the area. He woke up with bear #66 (protecting her cubs)chewing through his sleeping bag. These two join the long list of Euro-trash and urban wilderness warriors who have become bear food due to their inability to fathom simple concepts about wildlife....Darwin would be proud.

As a contrasting note of interest, I spent the previous 4 days in the wild areas of the bow river down stream from the glacier, saw lots of bear sign but was never bothered ( simple bears precautions with food and having an eye for a good camp site). The Rangers told me that the back country sightings were not too frequent this year. Soooo, what does this tell us...that perhaps the town site bears are not really wild?...that thay have lost their fear of man? That their proxcimity to garbage keeps them as semi permanent town residents? That all these factors conbined make for an unpredictable situation when they interface with the local touistas, weaned on Disney-esque concepts of wildlife?

In both cases, areas were duely signed off and warnings issued about unstable bear activity.but I suppose we just missed the small print on the bottom of the signs that said " except urban Quebecois wishing to fulfill their urban lifestyle activites in bear country".

7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL.... can you encourage more to go there please... Must be the easy life they live in Quebec. Fattening them up for bear food.... cool!!

June 27, 2005 at 5:05 PM  
Blogger Aizlynne said...

The only problem is they end up shooting the bears, who are obviously english speaking conservatives. They should be shooting the dipshits who go into areas they shouldn't be in.... or relocate them to Haiti.

June 27, 2005 at 8:37 PM  
Blogger W.L. Mackenzie Redux said...

Ya don't shoot the bears...they're doing the nation a service reducing the numbers of empty headed urban wilderness warriors...too bad they don't feed more often on the PETA type of fool but then again, we'd never see one near any real wild life....or real wilderness for that matter...they like to pontificate on western wildlife issues from the cloistered vacuum of a Toronto apartment.

Let's hear it for the Bears!!

June 28, 2005 at 9:09 AM  
Blogger Debris Trail said...

Great to see that all's well Bill.

Interesting about the bears. I guess that you'll be safe as long as you never speak French or eat Croissants. If you come across French tourists, just make sure they go ahead.

This is ironic, because one of my best friends is from the Gaspe, and he's simply terrified of bears. Now I know why!

By the way, Genus Libratas is done. When you have time to go through the whole compendium you'll know why you have a difficult time communicating with Liberals. I'll be putting my Libratas Americana between my Cape Buffalo and my Zebra.

Cheers!

June 28, 2005 at 7:21 PM  
Blogger Shaken said...

It's plainly obvious that neither did the bears read the signs warning them of unstable tourista activity.

June 29, 2005 at 4:49 AM  
Blogger Candace said...

I wonder if the sharks off the coast of Florida have been talking to the grizzlies?

July 1, 2005 at 3:49 PM  
Blogger W.L. Mackenzie Redux said...

Candace said...
"I wonder if the sharks off the coast of Florida have been talking to the grizzlies?"

One can only hope there is an international predator conspiracy against wilderness trekking moonbats.

July 1, 2005 at 5:56 PM  

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