The Reformer's Firebrand

*-{The New Canadian Colonist's Advocate }-* A commentary of fiery reformist sentiment from the spirit of it's 210 year old Canadian ghost publisher patron. This will be a home to the new wave of anti-partisan advocacy for defeating Canada's second "family compact" and reinstallation of responsible governance in this 21st century new Canadian democratic dominion.

Friday, July 29, 2005

Rules of Engagement: As Per Caroline Parrish

From a leaked memo to the Canadian Military commander in Afghanistan from Caroline Parrish's office:

From the desk of C. Parrish, MP and National director of Politically correct warfare

To all Commanders and personnel in front line enemy engagement in the Afghan war on Terror:

My fellow Canadians hamstrung by the military mentality disability: We are Canadians we don’t make war we make peace. We do not make peace the barbaric way the bastard Americans do by forcing an enemy to defeat with violence. We defeat the enemy with acts of craven matronly taunts. We appeal to his sense of maternal shame and act in lieu of their Mother in correcting errant children.

When ever Canadian troops are faced with terrorists shooting at them you will:

A) Run away.

B) If this is not possible you will drop out of sight and deploy the “Nag-a-phone” (Can Pat. Pending)… An audio broadcast device which is supplied with “live batteries” . Key up the microphone, and say: PUT THOSE NASTY GUNS DOWN RIGHT NOW!!….DON’T YOU KNOW GUNS ARE EVIL AND CAN HURT LIVING THINGS? ( See “Nag-a-Phone” operator’s Manual [supplied] for a list of 40 other smothering, maternalistic nags and taunts)

C) If this does not work, switch the “Nag-a-phone” to full auto mode and allow the loop tape to broadcast its repetitive message: “BANG, BANG, YOU’RE DEAD…FALL DOWN PLEASE”. For full effect play the message at full volume while menacingly pointing your finger at the enemy.

D) If this definitively hostile measure fails to intimidate, you are justified in deploying the ultimate weapon: Take your life-like Taliban insurgent doll from your backpacks….hold it in plain sight of the enemy…then stomp on it grinding your heel into the doll’s face…this must be done in plain sight of “hostile bastards”.

E) If the above tactics don’t work, we will contact the press (and then your next of kin) and tell them your death was the result of American Imperialism creating an unconquerable enemy.

5 Comments:

Blogger Aizlynne said...

Thanks for the good laugh Bill ... I especially like solution #4.

July 29, 2005 at 9:28 AM  
Blogger Debris Trail said...

The problem with this method is, and which will get a lot of troops killed, is that the stomping of the doll will enrage the Terrorists even more... imagine their angst when they see their favorite blowup doll being stomped, especially the virgin#70 special. Imagine the anger, when they realize they'll have to go without.

Why don't terrorists have driver's-Ed and sex-Ed on the same day?

So that they don't tire out the camels!

July 29, 2005 at 6:48 PM  
Anonymous Snowbunnie1 said...

I suggest that Ms. Parrish be sent , unwilling as she will be, on the first plane to the hottest, most Western hating spot and dropped by parachute.
Let her find her own way home.
Maybe one of those Canadian soldiers she has such disdain for will save her sorry ass and bring her home. Then she can thank them by stomping on a doll of Hillier.
I have lost my sense of humour when idiots like Parrish spout off. More often than not it is deadly and somebody ends up getting killed.
I have no longer any patience whatsoever for political correctness and pandering to the terrorists and trying to'understand' them all the while vilifying George Bush and Tony Blair, who, in my view, have been God sent. And we are lucky to have them both in such dangerous times.
Parrish needs to shut up and go away.
From Martin's remarks it looks like that might happen sooner rather than later. When he follows her into oblivion will be the day that we might start on the road to recovering some sense of decency in this country.

July 31, 2005 at 12:16 AM  
Blogger W.L. Mackenzie Redux said...

SB: The left have been wearing tinfoil hat conspiracy theories for as long as I remember.....functionally, it boils down to mindless idiots who have unwittingly adopted pissy-pants Marxism as sonme form of Pop trend to appear "enlightened".

They make pavlovian reflexive yapping noises every time the real 5th colunm Marxists key them up with some new propaganda.....the themes are all the same: All the ills of the world are a vast right wing jewish conspiracy...Capitalism bad...overthrow the so called "rich" capitlists and their Jew bankers...steal their their wealth to feed their so-called "victims"...US baaaad.....terrorist, revolutionaries goooood....same old endless Robin-hood loop tape that's been playing since Grampa Karl started singing it.....brain candy for the sheltered free world's suburban kiddies and the reason-handicapped.

Parrish is no different...she willingly allowed herself to be a schill for the extremist Muslim faction that has taken control of the Liberal riding association. She openly propagates their twisted ideals in return for her fat MP pension.....so she is truly a madcow, and a political whore who will sell out her own culture and nation's best interests.

My take is, she doesn't believe a word of the mindless hate filled Islamo-facist shit she spouts. That, as you have said SB, makes her the worst kind of whore and a danger to the security of this nation.

I'm with you SB....let's take up a collection to buy her a one way ticket to some stone age Islamic hell hole and leave her there to prove her twisted theories about the ethics, and motives of these rabid animals.

BTW: If she was kidnapped and beheaded by Al queda, I would refuse to run my flag to half mast....same as if Moe Strong or any of these other 5th colunm Bolshevik scum bags got capped....in my estimation they are foreign nationals with a foreign ideology and foreign political ethics....they are NOT Canadian.

July 31, 2005 at 7:19 AM  
Anonymous Snowbunnie1 said...

Beheading is such an agregious act , I shudder to think of any human being, politically or idelogically opposed or not, having to suffer that fate.
God only knows those who have suffered it did not deserve and many of these heinous terrorists should suffer the same fate they foist on the innocent.
There is an underlying plan in my view that we have not seen brought fully to the surface, but it is there and the hints are getting stronger and stronger.
My take on it is this: This is a fight for world domination : Those who would enslave the entire world are using those who would end Western domination for some misguided religious fanaticism and vice versa. The MONEY. It comes from SOMEWHERE. Oh, I know, the Saudi's fund a lot and we know that.
It may be that the West views the Sauds in the way one views an enemy: keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
As for the shenanigans in the Oil for Food scandal, that , too is the tip of the iceberg that is mostly submerged but moving along quite quickly.
Also, my take on it is that with Clinton in the WH and Chretien the useful idiot in Canada, "they" just about had it built.
THEN George Bush got elected. Against all odds and all the fraud they could throw at the country and in particularly Florida, George won.
They have been knashing their teeth ever since then. Cosy little deals that hid below the surface , slowly percolated to the top..exposing the neat deals in OFF and other things like Kyoto.
Exposing the ties to power in Canada to Power Corp. ( Whose influence is tentacular and elusive but nonetheless, exists and is powerful)
From water rights in the only American aquifer available to the exploitation of populations in Iraq, Canada and around the world by way of Oil For Food and Kyoto, there is now the Tsunami relief fund that is mysteriously held, yet to be released to those it was meant to benefit.
I see a pattern that had developed over a long period of time.
The ONLY monkey wrench in the works was the election of George W. Bush, who immediately recognized the effort and nixed the US involvement in the World Criminal Court and Kyoto.
What fate is there for those nefarious and dangerous forces that exist to enslave a world population ? What tools will they attempt to implement next?
As I see it, it is going to be Check : John Bolton goes to the UN.
Checkmate: John Roberts is confirmed to the US Supreme Court.
We will be thanking George W. Bush for far longer than our memories can stretch.

August 3, 2005 at 1:29 PM  

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